Recently, I have sent a few job applications online and been invited to the interview. I was very nervous and have spent a huge amount of time for the preparations.
Ben always tells me that, “as long as you have tried your best, I am proud of you.”
Undoubtedly, these words make me feel calm and comfortable.
But why? Is it because I have nothing to regret if I have already tried my best or, is it because I know that someone will be on my side regardless of the result?
Either way, it doesn’t change the outcomes directly but will adjust my mindset and the ways I approach things.
Those words add confidence in me, but also gives me an excuse for the potential failure.
When I think deeply about “as long as you tried your best”, it has almost the same meaning as “it is alright if you didn’t get it because there is nothing much you can do.” It sounds as if you do not have the responsibilities. At least it does not help when you are still trying.
If I did not deliver the result, why does it matter if I tried my best? But if I have already done more than the expected works, why still gives myself a hard time?
There is a huge difference ‘before trying’ and ‘after trying’
So I have learned that – when we are doing something especially when it involves Success and Failure, don’t use the “try your best” attitude. Instead, use the “I must do it” attitude and treat it as if we will not have second chance to do it. Because trying your best is not good enough to justify failure, at least not when you are still trying.
But once the task is finished, it is alright to tell yourself “as long as you have already tried your best, I am proud of you.” Because there is nothing much you can do to contribute to the result, and any excessive self-blame is just as harmful as trying not hard enough.
Remember a few kind words can boost confidence and self-assurance
If you know someone who is struggling after all the efforts, tell that person everything is alright as long as they have tried their best. A person’s attitude won’t change immediately for a few words, but he/she will feel your encouragement and you are by their sides. Ben knew this very well and supported me. If you do not have a Ben to tell you, then tell yourself.
In short, “as long as you tried your best” is a tricky mindset. It is not enough to justify the failure, so don’t use those words when you were still trying or when you did not get what you hope for. Instead, use those words as a powerful tool to support and motivate someone (including yourself).