Inspiration, My Journal Of Thoughts

Why I Quit My Job

Many people asked me why I quit my job.

I did the same thing four years ago. At that time, I quit my job and left Malaysia. Today, I quit my job again and left New Zealand. Although it is very different this time because I know for sure that I will come back to New Zealand by early next year, but it is still a long getaway.

Well, it is hard to explain as there were too many reasons. It was never just one reason that makes me decide to leave, because it is not a trivial decision. I don’t know how well I can cope with the unemployed position, because I have always been keeping myself busy all the time. I was involved in at least 10 different jobs over the last 10 years.

My first job began soon after I finished my secondary school; it was 10 years ago. I was the only staff working at the Pokémon cards shop nearby my house. I took responsibility of everything, i.e. cashier, promoter, cleaner and etc. My salary was RM700 (about USD$180) per month – for long hours of work including weekends. To be honest, I hate this job.

Not long after that, I quit the job and worked in the bakery shop. Everyday I had free bread & cakes (and gained a lot of weight). It was a good job except that I was surrounded by cockroaches everyday. I am like any other female and VERY scared of cockroaches. Now I still like bread & cakes, but not as much as before.

I can’t remember which year it was when I worked as the promoter at the famous health store. This job was not suitable for me because I was extremely shy, but I need to overcome it so I gave it a try.

From my memory I also worked in the clothing store at a big shopping mall. I can’t even remember the name of the clothing store despite that I had worked here for a few months. I mainly worked in the back side of the store – packing, cleaning and etc. I was very slow although I have tried very hard. This clothing store was closed down after I quit the job.

As my friend recommended, I worked as the waitress on the wedding event. The dishes were super heavy. Any job that requires physical strength is not suitable for me. It was a shame that a customer helped me! I only worked here for one day.

I worked as the data entry admin for a small company in KL. This is my first office job. They were impressed of my typing speed, as I can type more than 90 words in one minute. I was not happy because I did not learn anything in this job. They wanted to extend my contract but I rejected. It was over.

Since I studied in Accounting and Finance, it seems a good idea that I work as the intern for accounting and finance. Therefore, I worked as the intern for 3 months at a small convenience store.

Being a private tuition teacher for 3-4 years is one of the happiest memories in my life. It is my most favourite job! At first I worked in a tuition centre, and then I started my own private tuition after building some network. I can earn up to RM30 (USD$7) per hour which was a huge amount for me as a college student at that point of time. Most importantly, this is a job that bring satisfaction to me. A student of mine gave me a bunch of flower on my university graduation ceremony. I was so happy that I helped someone. I also appreciate that he expressed his gratitude for me.

Almost forgot to mention, I had a nick name ‘candy teacher’ 🙂 Just because I love candy so much and always give candy to my students. This is one of the reasons that my teeth are in bad condition.

Not long after my graduation, I worked as the research analyst at a credit rating company, but I felt like I was more like an admin. Before I worked here, I gave my resume to a few employers in the job fair event; one of them contacted me (which is my current IT company) so I quit the research analyst job. I only worked here for less than 2 months.

I worked as the financial analyst at the IT company in Malaysia. After two years, I resigned and came to New Zealand under the working holiday visa. I worked as the vineyard labour that requires a lot of physical strength. It is one of the hardest moments in my life (I was fired 3 times by different employers in 3 months), but it is also one of the most beautiful memories in my life. I had a lot of laugh and I felt really relax here.

I was lucky to work as the finance lead for a secret project. Although it was not a promotion and sometimes the job drives me to crazy, I was really grateful because it was a good experience to my career and personal development. I am blessed that most of the people have treated me very well; recognised my efforts and gave me good feedback – I couldn’t have thanked them enough.

Although I have worked in many different jobs (mainly part time), I am actually quite loyal to the IT company. I worked in the finance for the same IT company in New Zealand that I worked in Malaysia (as it is a multinational company). So, in total I worked as the finance analyst/lead for the same employer for more than 5 years. My life here is sometimes complicated, yet sometimes simple.

If you are still with me, probably you will notice that I haven’t answered why do I want to quit the job?

Don’t know.

I am reflecting the past. I had never allowed myself to have too much free time. It was not just about money, but I was worried that I couldn’t catch up with the world, and I was worried that I will lose what I have now. I always think about ‘what I should do’, instead of ‘what I like to do.’ I am sick of worrying.

Perhaps, it is time to stop and think about my future. I am not expecting that I will have an answer once I quite the job (as some people never find their value in life), but at least I tried. Never try, never know. I want to find out what I really want to do.

Or perhaps, I want a gap year (although I know I am too old for a gap year :P). Four years ago I came to New Zealand under the working holiday scheme, but I did not complete it because I received the job offer from my current company. It was unexpected and I accepted immediately because opportunity doesn’t wait, so I did not finish my ‘holiday’. Well, it is time to take a break now.

Or perhaps, I need to learn something new. I have been working at the same company for more than 5 years. I think it is time for me to explore different things. It may not be easy to start over again, but I need to do so. I need to learn and adapt quickly in the contemporary world because everything is moving so fast.

Or perhaps, it is just the best timing as my project has come to the end very soon and I do not want to go back to the previous team for some reasons. It is an escape, but it is also a desire to change. Even if I did not quit, I have a feeling that I will be kicked out very soon – and I do not like to be kicked.

Or perhaps, I want to do something crazy again. I want to visit 30 countries before 30 years old. Also, one of things that I really want to do is backpack travel Europe in my 20s. Now is the perfect time to do it! 🙂

Or perhaps, I am just lazy. I want more time to write my blog. It is very hard to concentrate on writing and working full time job at the same time. This blog is important for me; because it reminds me when I am lost, and it accompanied me during my loneliness time.

Or perhaps, I want to be a better person. I want to see the world and tell you amazing stories. So when I come back, you will see my difference.

Every time when people tell me that I shouldn’t quit, I feel very guilty and doubt if my decision is correct. I really do, especially I will spend a lot of time to go travel by myself, because I know solo travel for female isn’t a small risk, and I still can’t find a good reason to convince myself on why I should not feel guilty to my family and friends. I understand that it is for my own pleasure and some people will worry about me. But this also makes me feel more appreciate to the people who support me and wait for me. Time will take everything away except the true love.

Some people told me that I do not have to be rush as I can travel anytime in the future. But, I can only see that it is getting harder each year. I am lucky that I have less commitment (for now) and still can afford to leave now. So, why wait while I still can afford to be me now?

I deserve it. I worked extremely hard in these 5 years. I gave full commitment to my work. Sometimes I worked till I cried and I scratched my head until midnight. I was doing the job that was beyond my level and age in my latest job position. Now I just want a nice and long holiday for a reward and most importantly, to recharge myself so that I can be ready for the next chapter of my life. Life is too short, and I do not want to be too hard to myself.

If you love me, then please, be mentally supportive to me and let me follow my heart. 🙂

 

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